Sandra asks…

How do I deal with my period while doing this?

I’m exspecting my perion in on monday, and will be kayaking on tuesday with camp. I’ve gone there before last year, but without my period. We get on a bus to get there. Then there is a bathroom. Then we take about a 15 min. ride to get to the river. There is no bathroom. We get in the kayaks and go for about 8 hours. We take one mid-way break to eat lunch and swim, but there are no bathrooms. Then we get to the stopping point and swim. After that we get on the bus. Girls get on first to change clothes. And then the guys. Then we finally go home. What should I do? And I love kayaking so i don’t want to skip.
34 minutes ago – 4 days left to answer.
Additional Details
while on my period, i usually wear regular tampons…so should i wear super? And i don’t want to change it in the woods. there is no bathroom on the bus and we are required to wear bathing suits for obvious reasons.

i was thinking and give me your ideas on this:
i could change right before going kayaking into a super tampon. then put a towel up when i change into my underwear and put a pad on (with the tampon still in.)

and 8 hrs is kinda of exaggerating…its more like 6 hrs with 1/2 hr bus ride home
1 second ago

while on my period, i usually wear regular tampons…so should i wear super? And i don’t want to change it in the woods. there is no bathroom on the bus and we are required to wear bathing suits for obvious reasons.

i was thinking and give me your ideas on this:
i could change right before going kayaking into a super tampon. then put a towel up when i change into my underwear and put a pad on (with the tampon still in.)

and 8 hrs is kinda of exaggerating…its more like 6 hrs with 1/2 hr bus ride home

Martin answers:

You could do that. And thanks for clarifying about the bus. I think wearing the super tampon just for the kayaking would work, and when you get changed to go home, take the tampon out and put a big pad in. You can’t leave a tampon in more than 8 hours though.

Donald asks…

Barn drama? Do you have problems too?

(Sorry it’s so long. :P )

Okay, so I know every barn has drama going on, no matter where it is. But this is just…it makes me really mad that someone would do this.

I’ll start off by saying that I do absolutely love my barn, and there isn’t TOO much drama. But this has just been irking me. There’s a good number of girls my age, a little older, and a little younger, who ride at the barn. We’re all pretty close, and most of us know each other from school and other places besides the barn. During the summer, most of ius are out there every single day helping out with day camp, working the horses that aren’t/can’t be used for camp, riding our own horses, etc.

For those of us who don’t have our own horse/lease, we don’t have tack trunks that we keep at the barn (obviously), so we normally just throw our stuff in our trainer’s “office” (she never uses it) that’s right next to the school barn where we spend most of our day. It’s open to anyone, but it’s mainly just us girls that help out that go in there.

My friend Nicole, myself, and one or two other girls had our bags in there that day, like usual. Nicole, myself, and two other girls had gone down to the boarder barn to have a lesson while the day campers were eating lunch. Nicole had left her wallet, phone, etc in her bag. Once we were done with our lesson, we went back up to the school barn to get our lunches and drinks. Long story short, Nicole’s wallet, with $50 some dollars in it, was gone. It had been there that morning; I saw it when I was grabbing gum. We turned the entire barn upside down, went through people’s tack trunks (with our trainer’s permission- money had gone missing before, but not this much in a long time), etc. Didn’t find it. Our trainer called all the parents and told them what happened, said free time at the barn would be gone if it wasn’t returned by the end of the week. Lo and behold, at the end of the next day, Nicole looked in her bag to find it in there again; with $10 missing.

We have guesses as to who took it, but as we have no proof, we can’t say for sure. Has anything like this happened at your barn/any ideas on how to prevent it from happening in the future/any barn drama stories of your own? (I know she shouldn’t have had that much money it there; her neighbor had caught us on our way out the door and gave it to her for babysitting and we didn’t have time to put it back inside).

So, yeah. Share your stories, solutions, whatever. :]
Yes, we all realize it was a lesson learned; and I forgot to add that my mom is talking to my trainer about us possibly donating a small bank of little square lockers for some of the girls to keep their valuables in. :]

Martin answers:

I have a similar story.

At one of the barns where I boarded my horse, all the boarders had an individual tack closet in the tack room for keeping our stuff. You put your own padlock on the door to secure it.

Most people, myself included, would unlock their closet when we got there and put our purses etc. In the closet, then leave it closed but not locked while we rode, then put our tack and supplies back in and lock up when we left the stable.

Long story short: one day I went down to the stable. There were only three other people who were there at the time: my trainer, who was in the ring with a horse, another boarder who I didn’t know very well, and the wife of the couple that lived at the barn and fed the horses.

I put my purse, which had my wallet in it, in the closet, got my tack out, and went to take care of my horse. I spent about forty-five minutes turning him out, then grooming him and tacking him up. Before I finished tacking him up, I went into the tack room to go into my purse and get some aspirin out, plus a dollar out of my wallet for a coke to wash the aspirin down with.

When I went into my wallet, I found that all my cash (roughly $60) was gone, as were two tickets I had bought to a concert, tickets I’d paid $40 each for.

I knew how much money had been in the wallet, and I knew the tickets had been in the wallet, because I’d stopped and bought the tickets on the way to the stable and I’d counted my money.

During that entire time, there were only myself and the trainer, the other boarder, and the woman who with her husband fed the horses morning and evening. I didn’t see which of them had gone into the tack room.

My trainer I eliminated, because she was still out in the ring with the horse she’d been on and had never left the ring.

That narrowed it down to two people.

I asked both of them if they’d been in the tack room, and they both said they had. And that was all I could get from them.

I never knew which of them had stolen my things, but I know it had to be one of them. And what really hurt was these were both people who were normally smiling and cheerful and who treated me like someone they liked, although we were really only acquaintances. But to this day it galls me to know that one of those two people was smiling and stealing from me at the same time.

Moral of the story: don’t ever, ever keep anything valuable in an unsecured place, even if you think you can trust the people around you. Your friend Nicole learned a cheap lesson, it only cost her $10.

Steven asks…

I need help with a guy?

Okay so i am currently doing a day camp style thing, and the guy i like is there. For a few days now it seems as if he is trying to ignore me or give me evil looks, because he always seems to be stearing at me but never actually talks to me. Last night i texted him saying that at lunch he should come talk to me about everything thats going on.

What i mean by that is that everything about us has gotten crazy and everyone knows. I had asked him out before, and everyone had found out. Things had changed and our friendship has changed, sometimes we are closer and sometimes we are more further appart. I had seen a movie with him and a friend of ours the week before and a few things happened, lets just say my friend asked him out over the phone for me while they were on the bus waiting for it to leave, so i ended up having to go back and sort it out, and the bus drove off with me on it! I managed to get off eventually though thankfully. Also this friend of ours had told me that the guy i liked had a girlfriend, so that lead to me texting him and then calling him when he said he was going on facebook to talk to me about it, but logged off after about two minutes because of his parents. So i said that i wasnt going to say what i wanted to over the phone, so i said i would wait and talk to him the next week.

So i sent him another text message at lunch asking if he was going to come talk to me, but im not sure if he got it. Coincidentally at the same time he started walking over, so i pretended not to notice. He came over and did the usual kind of thing, the small talk thing, so we walked a few meters away from my friends. We started talking, and everything i had planned to say went out the window. I couldent think of what to say and just stood there mumbling things untill i could think. I started to say some things and i saw all my friends looking at us so i grabed his arm to get him to walk with me, but he reacted very badly to this, screaming stop and otherthing, when i really had just tried to get him to come a bit further away. We walked away a bit and then kept talking.

I pretty much said to him that i was sorry, some other things ( I could tell by this stage that he wasnt paying much attention) so then i asked if he could think about if he could feel the same way about me and asked him to think about it and give me an answer by then end of the day camp thing (The end is two days away), he said yes over and over, and we started to talk about unimportant things as he walked away, so i followed him back to my friends and said bye.

My friends, like friends do, wanted to know how it went, so they gathered around me. I looked off to where he was and i noticed he was looking straight at me (this time i am certain he was looking at us), so me and my friends walked off for a while to talk without him seeing. We talked then came back after awhile, he had gone to his other friends.

When i got home i texted him saying sorry about it all, how i just forgot everything and how it didnt make much sense. I said that as long as he got the last part, about him thinking about it then thats all that mattered. I said i knew what he was going to say, but i wanted him to think about it anyways. I have not heard back yet, its been a bit over an hour now, but when i sent the other message it took him awhile to reply.

I have no idea on what to do. I should mention these last two days could end up being the last time i see him for a few months (Im talking about 4 or 5, we go to the same school but different campuses) if things stay the way they are.

Im really confused about it all and what to do next. Would anyone have any ideas?
Thanks :)
Sorry, it is a bit rushed but i cant explain much more of it. Its not overly long distance, we live about 30 minutes away from each other and we can both use public transport. We might be able to soon see each other twice a week, but i don’t know about that yet

Martin answers:

It’s quite obvious by the way you have written this that it’s bothering you quite a bit. Aside from the fact you stated it’s bothering you, your question is rushed and confusing I had to read it twice and still not sure I fully understand. If I’m understanding correctly though, it’s probable he is indecisive about what he wants to do, in which case it’s not going to be worth your time waiting around for an answer. As you only have two days left of the camp thing, if you haven’t got an answer directly from him by then: You can be sure he’s not interested in which case it’ll be time to move on.

Sorry I couldn’t help much, sounds like this is stressing you out quite a bit…

Paul asks…

Help me get back at someone please!?

I’ve already made a topic about this but I guess it wasn’t submitted..Anyway, my step dad is acting like a complete *censor* hole about this whole divorce issue with my mother. My friends and even friends parents hate this guy even the girls he used to date with have turned against him – now before you feel bad for him listen what he has done to our family and friends, I’ll only name a few as there are too many.

He stole my perm resident green card and my mothers thinking he could send us back to our born places also to make life on me a living hell since I couldn’t get my driving licenses or a job (I am American but my real dad bailed out on me before I was born, and we’ve already got new cards) he tried to get a restraining order on me because of my recent cursing that I’ve just started to talk back at him (Which he lost the case since “Cursing” is nothing compared to threats that people make or do) He also tried to get my mother on a forged check (We had to get money from friends and family to pay for the lawyer which is now settled and off her record) Ever since the forged check incident my little sister who is 14 doesn’t get lunch money anymore (Which she now starves herself till she gets home to eat) He lies to my youngest sister who is 9 about going to the church every 1-2 days to go see his multiple girlfriends he’s cheating on, he makes a mess out of the house and tries to blame it on my mother not cleaning (She’s a house wife, though she didn’t want to be one at first but since he works at the Air Force as an accountant he paid her to stay home) He makes eight grand a month, gives away six hundred to my mom for temporary something (Divorce thing) and probably spends ten dollars on food a week if that, he claims I’m “Stealing” stuff from the house and selling it (I think he’s the one who is stealing and giving stuff to his girlfriends to try and make my mother and I look bad at the divorce court house) He recently took a picture of me sleeping on a 3 man couch and my sisters friend on the other side and showed it to her parents (Her parents aren’t mad at me since he should have woken one of us up if he was concerned and not just take pictures [The girl is like a sister to me and we weren't even touching, she was on one side, I was on the other])..and tons more.

I asked some friends on what I should do but none of there ideas were that great – I want to get back at him big time, no I don’t want to fight, injure, or even kill him as I don’t want end up in jail or ruin my life. Before you say “Why do you live with this guy” I’ll be going to boot camp soon but before going I want revenge or something to make him think twice before messing with my mom while I’m gone. But yeah, ANYTHING that is suggested will be looked at by me asap – thanks, I’ll be looking forward to replies.
The green card incident was long ago and I really don’t think nothing can be done since it’s my word against his, same thing with the abusive reporting thing, he could say I’m abusing him.

I was thinking of this though, people get sent to jail for no reason and have to prove their self that they’re innocent, maybe I should call the cops and make up something?
Update: The parents of my sisters friend who he took pictures of are going to sue him (Thank god) if it’s possible, does anyone know if they can do so? Or do we have to wait till he uses those pictures first? My 14 y/o sister overheard him talking to his girlfriend on the phone about using it in court (Which is against the law I think without having the parents consent). Can anyone confirm this? :S I’m not into law that much..I’ll be Googling till I find an answer.

Martin answers:

Call the police. They can get your green cards back for you and they can also stop his behavior. If you have a green card, there has to be a record of it and the police can point you in the right direction. He is being abusive and that is against the law. If you are in school, then you can tell the school counselor that you don’t want to stay in that environment anymore….and you shouldn’t. Your mom needs to get away from him too. If she is scared, tell her to go to a shelter and they can also provide temporary shelter for you and her as well as point you in the right direction and assist you in getting the help you need. Good luck

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